88 little things I will miss about Uruguay

I have just over one week left in Uruguay. It's time to get all nostalgic and stuff.
Anybody who knows me well enough knows that I love a good list. Here's one that I've been making for all of the little things that have made me smile (inside or out) over the past few months.

1. The hot water machine in the cantina at Católica (used solely to refill mate thermoses).
2. The way the ómnibus hauls ass in the 8 de Octubre tunnel. 
3. Clarifying that I want agua "con" or "sin" gas.
4. "tá"
5. The curb at the bus stop in Paso Molino, which is so covered in left-over-bus-driver yerba it is likely to remain that horrible shade of green forever.
6. My host mom, Cuca, telling Michi (our cat) to get out of the dining room. "Salí, Michi!"
7. The door guard at the ORT who rocks a mow-hawk.
8. Ordering a victory empanada in the cantina at Católica after handing in a paper or finishing a test.
9. Mafalda comics––anytime, anywhere.
10. The Peñarol vs. Nacional graffiti war.
11. Ómnibus lip-synch-a-longs because it's the closest I get to speaking English on a regular basis.
12. The fricative "y" or "ll" sound (much like the "ss" in "mission") in words like "playa" and "allá".
13. Similarly, the use of "vos" as the second-person singular. 
14. Dred mullets.
15. Tienda Inglesa.
16. How all the pedestrian x-ing signs are weirdly specific (photo evidence to come).
17. How "Coke vs. Pepsi?" is not even a question; and how waiters tell you they only serve pepsi products with the same care a vet might take to tell you your dog has died. 
18. Forgetting to bring ID and getting into the club anyway by sputtering Spanglish (or straight up English) at the bouncer.
19. Mi amooooor profundo (Francisco, age 2) and mi mamá (Belén, age 3.5).
20. Cigale pistachio and almond ice cream. 
21. Dulce de leche on/in EVERYTHING dessert-like.
22. The sound of the street fair outside my window every Wednesday morning.
23. Crosswalk jugglers.
24. The way Uruguayans bite their bottom lip to express "oh dear" "wow" "ouch" or "shiiiiiit".
25. Technicolor class notes, with bubble letters for emphasis.
26. Diego Forlán on every television screen, billboard, and bus stop telling me to get Direct TV.
27. Drinking bottles of Salus water or juice...with a straw.
28. How people re-use Indian Emporium shopping bags as purses.
29. Putting cash under my plate of gnocchi every 29th.
30. The smell of the open-air fruit stand on Cuariem and Colonia.
31. The Einstein statue en the plaza near Humanidades.
32. Having no classes on national holidays.
33. The ceremonial pit-stop to the gas station on Herrera for previa coca-cola.
34. Romina's spot-on impression of our Psicomotor Education professor.
35. The man who sells used books outside of Puro Verso on 18 de Julio.
36. This boy, who walked home from school one day dressed as a pirate, complete with hook: 
37. That Jack & Jill was an absolute hit at the Uruguayan box office.
38. The difference between "te quiero" and "te amo". 
39. Disco hits on the ómnibus.
40. The way people do their Hail Marys on the bus whenever we approach the cross at Tres Cruces.
41. The ever-present sound of ping pong in the cantina at Católica. 
42. How they sell bottles of whiskey next to the mentos at the checkout line.
43. "Ojo" ("watch out" or "careful"), accompanied by this gesture:
44. Cursing the 183 to Pocitos when it passes by me while the crosswalk light is red. And forgiving it when another shows up 10 minutes later to save me from the cold and/or bus stop creeps. 
45. The overly-impressive display of alfajores (over 30 different types!) at the counter of the cantina at Católica.
46. 9-digit cell phone numbers, all starting with 0.
47. Walking on the beach (doododododooo).
48. The sound of thousands of Uruguayans singing "Me Amo" ("I love me") at a concert on the beach in March.
49. The sound of my name when people say it properly in Spanish.
50. The Guernica graffiti wall in La Paz.
51. Luis Suarez perpetually selling me Garnier Fructis hair products on the LED billboard outside of Montevideo shopping. 
52. Improvisational black light puppet shows with Charles, Tamara, Federico y Andrea.
53. The ceremonial cracking of the chocolate easter egg every night after dinner during the week following Easter.
54. Professors sharing a mate with their students during lecture. 
55. How in el Estadio Centenario there's a song for every occasion ("...y la lluvia de mierda no quiere parar...")
56. Overly-large sugar packets. No joke 5x the sugar of a US packet. 
57. Chivitos. But not so much the taste as the fact they exist. 
58. How "Ta Ta" (a grocery store) and "To To" (a shoe store) always seem to be next to one another in shopping areas. And how unreasonably confused I was (still am?) as a result.
59. The way the produce section in the supermarket is almost always as large as the rest of the store, and how the frozen foods section pretty much doesn't exist (beyond ice cream).
60. The funky shape of their keys. (pictured below)
61. The momentary fear of bombilla burn that strikes me every time I'm the first to be offered a mate. And how I've never actually burned my lips.
62. The phrase "romper la noche", literally meaning "break the night", to describe a having a good time.
63. The tower of Canal 5, which in my earlier days would faithfully guide me home from my run/walk around the Blanqueada. 
64. Iron bars and gates. Everywhere.
65. The 6am post-night-out McCafe run. And how Uruguayans make it an art form.
66. The "cancer" bridge that spans the toxic river in Paso Molino.
67. "Permiso"
68. The way people blatantly disregard postings on the bus which forbid the consumption of mate for reasons of personal safety.
69. Stumbling upon the occasional drum circle on 18 de Julio.
70. Getting lost in the Saturday-morning street fair in Punta Carretas.
71. Improvisational cooking with rusty frying pans, actual table spoons, and gas stove tops and ovens with no temperature control. And the sense of triumph that comes with a successful dish.
72. The look on an Uruguayan's face after eating something even remotely spicy.
73. Hanging out in a crowd where the Santiago : Non-Santiago ratio is the same as the Uruguayan : Non-Uruguayan ratio.
74. Square pizza.
75. Finally mastering the pronunciation of "metropolitano". And the next day realizing I didn't need a metropolitan ticket to make it to Las Piedras. 
76. Shopping to the sound of instrumental Beatles music in the Disco of 8 de Octubre, and everybody in the produce section singing along.
77. Absolutely no societal pressure to cut my hair. Ever.
78. Bus drivers honking hello to each other joyfully on the 183/181 Paso Molino–Pocitos line.
79. Woow – Descuentos urbanos. 
80. How thrilling (and fruitless) the hunt for legitimate Mexican food is.
81. How eggs are never refrigerated. 
82. "NTVG"–the abbreviation more than the band, although the band is pretty good. 
83. Erica's squash soup.
84. Taxi drivers waiting to drive off until you've made it inside the front door.
85. My "secret boyfriend"--a figment of my host mother's imagination to explain why I was away from home so much during the last month or so of classes. I'm sure he's a really great guy.
86. The sound of the lottery numbers being called during dinner. Cuatroooooooo cincooooooo sieteee...
87. There are no Starbucks in Uruguay.
88. The way they say ".com.uy", usually at the end of advertisements. (punto com punto ooey)

You may have noticed this list has changed from 101 little things to 88. You are not imagining things. Perhaps there is not, in fact, a direct correlation between ambition and free time. Oops.

Tirate un memoir

Here's a 6-word memoir for every DJ who's ever fulfilled a song request for a certain little cumbia group from Argentina...

 Played Wachiturros; the whole club hissed.

As I write this, the top comment for this video on YouTube reads: "Estaba viendo este video cuando entro mi mamá. Cambié a porno porque era mas facil de explicar." Translated, it means "I was watching this video when my mom came in. Changed it to porn because it was easier to explain."


I've found shame and/or scorn are generally the only appropriate reactions whenever somebody admits to liking the Wachiturros. It's a bit like the Rebecca Black "Friday" phenomenon, but worse because they're actually touted as legitimate performers. 

ahí, hay, ¡ay!, ai caramba

Saw this the other day on facebook and it made me happy for at least two reasons:

1. It is funny.

2. I am finally getting jokes in Spanish on a regular basis.

I went out with my classmates from the department of psicopedagogía (psychopedagogy) a few weekends ago. Great times were had, although I think I may have danced with a brazilian male stripper to the oober popular Brazilian pop song "Ai se eu te pego" on stage in a boliche thing filled with 100 lovely Uruguayan strangers. 

To clarify, he didn't take actually take any clothes off. BUT he was a little too good at body rolls and shimmy-ing... Actually, it didn't even occur to me until the following Monday in class when my classmates told my professor what happened (yeah that happened). 

To clarify once more, the whole experience was a lot less wild than the picture I've painted thus far. There was a live band in the bar and at one point they started asking for volunteers to dance on stage. First it was anybody who had a birthday. Then it was anybody lucky enough to be surrounded by 10 or so people pointing fingers at them because they're foreign. I was in the latter group.

Yes, somebody in the group took a video. No, I do not have said video. But take comfort in the knowledge that it is out there and that my already tenuous prospects for a political career have been dashed.

Mi feliz cumple!

Better late than never?

Here are a few of the pictures from my 21st birthday, which was April 25th. I realize it might look lame from what you see here, but I prefer the term "low-key." At the time I was fresh off the buquebus (a bus-boat combo trip that takes you from Buenos Aires to Montevideo and back on one ticket) from our trip to Tandil for the long weekend, so a semi-surprise dinner party at home was just perfect. 

Captions will explain what you can see of the dinner below, but here's a rundown of what else happened that day:

• Care package from home! Yes, mom, it took well over a month to arrive, but that's okay. Really. American peanut butter + craisins + the clothing I ordered online at the beginning of February = surprisingly wonderful birthday presents. 
• Lost in the park. The group from Trampolines was meant to go on a field trip to the amusement park and I was meant to meet them there. It turns out that during the school day amusement parks on the beach are a very popular spot for school groups, and so I spent about 2 hours covertly following various hordes of children dressed in white smocks (all of them basically have the same uniform at that age) NONE of which were my group. For how long is it socially acceptable to semi-stalk groups of small children as a single white female of 21 years and average height? One simply never knows. 
• Walk in the park. Using glass-half-full logic, I wasn't lost in the park--I was simply enjoying a nice stroll along the Rambla and Parque Rodo. It actually was a beautiful day, so I can't complain about the stalking-against-my-will part too much. 
• Skype-a-thon. Thanks so much to everyone who joined me for the late-night wine skype, and the family skype after that, and the breakfast skype the next morning. If you're not among those implied above, let's fix the fact we haven't skyped in so long: N-gela is my user name. Add me.

Left: Everybody waiting in the kitchen to surprise me. They almost pulled it off completely, too! My host mom's poker face gave way that morning when she asked me for either Erica or Merelise's phone number "to ask how their apartment is going." Oh, Cuca. :D

Right: They made me french toast!! ....and pizza! Really great stuff all around.

Left: I somehow ended up with two cakes (or 1.5?), both dripping in dulce de leche. They also gave me a Peñarol jersey, which officially makes me a fan of one half of the biggest sports rivalry in town. 

Right: Lily says it's a tradition in Chile for the birthday boy/girl to take the first bite of cake...from the whole cake. Naturally, this was my response. 

Both: Not really birthday-related, but Mary bought an excellent shirt at the Tienda Inglesa close to where she lives. Featuring poorly-translated English flanked by leather sleeves. Oh boy. 

Cuando juega Ururuay

"When Uruguay plays," like TODAY at 3:00, it is best to get in the zone with a little Jaime Roos. The Uruguay national team faces off against Venezuela this afternoon en el Estadio Centenario, which will kick off the next round of South American qualifiers for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil.

I don't have tickets to the game, so I will be watching it from the comfort of my kitchen table. BUT you'd best believe I'll be reppin' the Celeste. I see a win for Uruguay, all biases aside. ¡Vamos arriba Uruguay!

Will keep you updated if I somehow score tickets that don't cost an arm and a leg to the Peru vs. Uruguay match next Sunday.